I am so grateful and honoured to let you into my world and present to you the crucial inner journey that changed and empowered me.
One of the main reasons I have designed the Planzy Planner was to empower people throughout the world (thus the English language) and remind them that they can achieve ANYTHING they imagine and focus on (thus the slogan: Imagine. Focus. Improve).
I have stumbled upon many self-help books during my journey. And they have all impacted me positively, but I was never completely convinced in my own strength and power until I really believed.
So, what happened? In 2015, I was blessed with a normal first pregnancy and was so excited to become a mother. I did not pay much attention to the delivery process and I somehow let my fear guide me. As you would imagine (when led with fear), it was horrible labour that ended in a traumatic experience for me and an urgent C-section. Needless to say, I was devastated.
That feeling has stayed with me for a few years, until I stayed pregnant again, with my second child, my lovely son. I knew I had to do something different this time around, but I just did not know what. As I read a lot of self-help books, I came across different methods of meditation and started trying them out, in order to come in touch with my inner soul and my inner wisdom. I had to try at least, I thought.
I was patient and consistent. I was reading and relaxing a lot, doing things I loved and eliminated stress from my life (stayed home on maternity leave) and kept showing up at the meditation pillow.
In the meantime, I met a lovely doula in my city and immediately intuitively knew she was the one that would help me and empower me to do what is right for me this time. We went to a few hospitals in the region and all the doctors were pretty clear: you CAN NOT deliver this baby naturally after a C-section. Everywhere I heard: YOU CAN’T. I decided that was not the right answer for me, and I had to listen to my inner soul and wisdom- I should know best what is best for my body, right?
So I kept on meditating, even though I did not manage to keep my mind quiet. I just kept on meditating and showing up. Until one day…
I will never forget the blissful feeling I felt when I „heard“ a very clear message from within. It just came up. It said: Varaždin.
Varaždin is a beautiful city near my hometown, and I immediately realized the message could mean I need to try and meet with the doctors from the hospital in Varaždin. By the way, I never said anything about this message to anyone at this point. I did not know if anyone would understand. I myself was not sure I knew what it meant.
So, my doula and I went to the Varaždin hospital at an appointment when I was 35 weeks pregnant. The doctor was very friendly and heard me out (that I wanted a naturally induced labour with no medication). He was the first one to tell me that I PROBABLY COULD DO IT. But he did give me another mind-blowing spiritual lesson (of which I was not aware at the time). He said: you need to let go and see how the labour progresses. You CAN give birth naturally, but if something goes wrong, you have to be open to the possibility of another C-section. Also, he literally said: The stars need to be aligned when you come to the hospital. In other words, as Gabrielle Bernstein says in her book „The Universe has your back“, you can express a wish and a dream/goal to the Universe, but even more importantly, you have to trust it and let the Universe do the work. Never doubt its powers, just give over the wish and do not attach to the final result. But you have to stay aligned, remove your fears as they appear and deeply believe the Universe will do the best possible scenario for you.
I kept meditating but also visualising. I kept visualising how my labour would progress and how it would feel.
As the day of my labour approached, I felt excited, happy and ready. My hubby and doula were with me at home and we were having lots of fun and laughter in between contractions. My doula made me feel capable, loved and understood. I really believe she has also been sent to me by the universal power.
SO, at midnight we drove to Varaždin. I trusted it would all work out right this time. Luckily for me, the stars were aligned. The doctor that was on call that night was the doctor that admitted me in the first place. He reassured me that I could to this. You got this, he said. This man obviously knew with his words.
As the labour progressed, I really gave in and do not even remember all of the moments in those 6 hours in the hospital. I enjoyed the whole experience. It really is an empowering and tremendous life-changing experience. When my son actually got out, it was the same feeling I felt in my visualisations. It was magnificent. I felt so strong, so happy, so connected and aligned with the Universe. I was so grateful for that experience and kept on crying, tears of joy of course. I was so full of emotions (and hormones probably), that I called my mother and screamed happily: „I did it, I did it“ while crying. The nurses said they have never experienced such an emotional and easy VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Of course, it was easy and possible when I listened to my inner guidance.
At the time of me leaving the hospital with my newborn, all the hospital staff and the other moms knew me as the most grateful mom during and after labour (I was saying thank you SO many times after I finally managed to give birth naturally, as I have dreamed of for 4 years at that time – I think I was saying thank you to the Universe for showing me what I was capable of).
This is one of the best and mind-blowing experiences in my life, it has deeply affected me as a person and as a mother. Moreover, it has helped me realize I needed to listen to my inner wisdom for answers. Because everything we need – we already have inside. There is a whole universe in us. Do not ever forget that.
So, my message for you is: You can do ANYTHING you imagine. Anything! Just listen to yourself (your intuition, your gut, your inner wisdom – however you want to call it). Meditate. Trust the Universe. And surrender to the plans the Universe has for you.
Hope my story will inspire you. It has inspired me enough for this lifetime.
With lots of love,